Thursday, January 29, 2009

12 DAYS!!!!

SOOOOOO... I have 12 days until my surgery. I am getting more and more excited. I find myself day dreaming alot... thinking about what I will look like and what my life will be like 9 months from now... I wonder what its going to be like to be thin. I don't think I will ever be skinny... which is fine with me..I just can't wait to be thin and healthy. I wonder how much better life is going to be!? The more I think about it the more nervous I get. I just hope my recovery is smooth. I am trying to prepare myself for the worst and hope for the best. I have really been trying to get into a routine at the gym and If i don't get to the gym I am walking my dog. I am really trying to train my mind and body to stay active. I think it has worked out pretty well so far.
  I can't believe I am having the surgery the day after my 20Th birthday. It is exciting but at the same time totally sucks because I am going to be a total wreck. I think two of my girlfriends are gonna spend the night the night before to help me get through it they are gonna stay at the hospital with my family while i am in surgery to. SO that makes me feel pretty good.=]

ok back to work! =] Enough day dreaming! =]

"Tough times don't last, tough people do"

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Feeling weird today. Getting more and more nervous as the days get closer and closer to the surgery. It's 15 days away! YIKES! I feel like it's a good nervous though. I just want my life to skip forward to a month from now ha ha. I am so excited to start this new life I am going to have. I can' wait to be healthy and completely comfortable in my own skin. I think by summer 2010 I will be ready to go to the beach in a bathing suite...I think that will be the day I know I have made my dreams really a reality. I can't wait for that day! 
 Now back to some more Homework!... Lucky me! =]

Saturday, January 24, 2009

It's a bittersweet day when you realize it's time to "grow up",continue forward towards your future and leave those behind who are holding you back of slowing you down. I think I have been hiding from this day for the past year and half. But now with my surgery coming closer and closer I know I need to face all my fears and reservations so that the day I get out of the hospital I can not only start my new healthy life physically, but start it emotionally healthy as well. I don't know why I have the fear of letting go of my past. Well I think I have a little idea but I am still not fully sure why. My whole life I have feared change. I feel over the years I have become much better at accepting and making the best of the changes in my life. I don't know why when I think of change I think the worst. This year so far has all been good change. Everything that has changed in my life in the past 9 months has been for the better and has made me a better person. I think I have conditioned myself to fear it for so long, my mind doesn't know any better.
So I have about 3 weeks or so until my life changes forever, FOR THE BETTER. Before that day comes I have to face all my fears face on and tell them they will not be coming into this next part of my life. As hard has that is going to be...I know in my heart and my mind it will be for the absolute best. I have LET negative people and food run my life for the past 19 years. They controlled my mind and body, but never again will I allow them to have that power. I told myself every day that I am in control but I never truly believed it. The day I finally started to believe myself was the day I began to make actual changes in my life. I have not looked back since and it feels great!

Personal Quote of the day:"Find out who you are, and do it on purpose!"

Thursday, January 22, 2009

First day of blogging

So where do  I start? Well it's 2009 the year of big changes... not only as a country but as individuals. I figure setting up this blog is a set in the right direction for me... My name is Amanda. I am 20 years old and in about 20 days or so I will be going in to have gastric bypass preformed. I have now met a couple people who have suggested I start blogging, not only to express my emotions but also to hopefully meet and reach out to others who are under going a weight loss procedure. I originally was going to keep my posts private,then I thought if my post's could be of help to anyone it would be much more useful and beneficial in the end. My life is pretty crazy on a day to day basis. Something is always happening or going on. I hope to share my life with all of you and get some support and help along the way. 

My personal Quote of the Day: